emotional healing is a process Today I’d like to share with you what I consider to be the 3 biggest obstacles to our healing process. In this day and age where people tend to seek quick fixes for everything, I would like to kindly remind you that healing IS a process.😊
This is inspired by my personal and professional observations, so take what resonates for you.
First of all… We often refer to healing as going from a state of pain and suffering to a state of well-being… By definitely getting rid of the pain! We may soothe the pain, but it is often temporary and one of many steps in the healing process.
Reiki, which I’ve been practicing for 22 years, is considered a “spiritual healing” modality. But… I do not consider myself a healer! My job is to facilitate the person’s healing process by helping her to connect with her own answers and resources.
Reiki DOES have a physical and emotional soothing effect that can be felt in the short and midterm. But the way it can provide lasting well-being on all levels is by raising the person’s consciousness. This facilitates wellness and balance to occur at the soul level and trickle down into all other aspects; mental, emotional and physical.
Becoming more conscious and aware is a key component of the healing process! So, here are the three biggest obstacles that can get in the way of our awareness and wellness. emotional healing.
Number one: Not owning our pain 💪 emotional healing
Because the mind is so focused on survival, it is also very focused on what is happening externally. Often times, when dealing with emotional wounds or traumas, we often point the finger outwardly. Still, thought we might not have consciously chosen to be abandoned, neglected, rejected, hurt, abused, etc… How we choose to handle those arise through our own freewill; emotions, thoughts, beliefs, behaviors and coping mechanisms.
Seeing our pain as being caused by something outside of us creates the illusion of powerlessness. Our power feels out of our hands! That mindset tells us that the solution to our pain is also external. We then go to therapists and practitioners with high hopes and expectations; asking them to fix us and to take away our pain! People may hope to reconnect with wellness without processing what hurts. Sometimes it can work, but often times not.
Of course, professionals may provide us with tools or some temporary relief and well-being… But taking responsibility for our own states of being can truly shift the game and help us to take our power back.
Dealing with past traumas 👩👧
When dealing with past traumas; our mind could rationalize and argue; “Maybe we were too weak or to unwise to KNOW or DO better at the time”… But at the soul level, we know ourselves to be in charge of how we choose to interact with the world. Empowerment facilitates self-forgiveness; which allows to bring healing on ALL levels! But it requires to point the finger inwardly! It requires to see OUR OWN parts our responsibility in our states of being.
The same may also apply when dealing with hard-wired trauma responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) that can make the body accustomed/addicted to cortisol (the stress hormone). This “addiction” creates a constant tension in the body and can make it harder for certain patterns to dissolve. Nonetheless, I do believe remedying to that requires taking back our power and owning our pain. But taking our power back sometimes requires assistance in “unlearning” what we have learned through pain.
Number two: Resistance to feeling our pain 🥺
When having physical pain, the body reacts by trying to numb it down, and then repair it over time. But emotions are energies in motion, they cannot be numbed down or repaired. They can only be felt and allowed to move through us. This is the way to truly liberate them!
Still, the mind will try have a go and numb them anyway… By creating distractions, addictive pleasures, or disconnect from our soul. When we are young and inexperienced, that is the quickest way… Why? Because the soul knows and feels everything… So the mind shuts it!
The mind then tries to “repair” those emotions by trying to control them with an onset of mental coping mechanisms. This creates a shell around the emotional pain that only gets multilayered and thicker over time. Emotions then get stuck in our body and settle into our unconscious… Ready to resurface if we ever encounter a similar pain inducing situation. Also, emotions do have an indisputable impact on the body’s ability to function or repair itself. So, not only do they stick with us, but they may also produce mental and physical imbalances or limitations.
Bypassing the mind 😬
Because the mind as worked so hard at maintaining those shells around our wounds; trying to dismantle them is a no-no! This is why going to the heart of the pain and feel it is soooo counter-intuitive! It’s as if your soul was telling you: “If you want to put out that fire, you need to take that hose and enter that blazing house!” But the minds is saying; “Fool…If you do that you’ll get burned again… or die!”.
Still, it’s important to go beyond the mind’s resistance and feel those painful emotions. When we do this, we allow those energies in motions to move through us and be liberated! The mental shells that were put in place; AKA limiting beliefs, behaviors and costumes, cease to be useful or required. And that is when we can start to question them and make more conscious and expansive choices. Yes, it might hurt, yes we might cry… but when we allow that process; there is a real reconnection/healing happening!
In that process, we might also realize that our own resistance to feeling the pain was actually prolonging it! The fact that those shells are multi-layered is what makes emotional healing a PROCESS! Sometimes we may be able to peel away the whole onion… and sometimes; a layer or two… Until next time! This is why having compassion for ourselves can be really helpful in accepting the pace of that process… and also gratitude; to be able to see our progress.
Number three: Identifying to our pain 🤳 emotional healing
Over time and repetition, those beliefs, behaviors and costumes become an integral part of our personality. Our personality is who we know ourselves to be. Thus, removing layers of pain can give us the impression of losing parts of our identity… An identity that was partly built on avoiding pain; something the mind worked really hard at!
This identity also serves to help us connect with others. The need to be seen and appreciated is what nurtures our sense of worth. And often times, we may be unconsciously using our pain to draw love and attention to nurture it…Which ends up becoming a mental habit. Thus, getting ride of our pain can be challenging if we have not yet developed healthier ways to connect. And that starts by becoming more autonomous in fulfilling our sense of worth… Truly SEEING and APPRECIATING who we are with our own eyes!
Attention-seeking habits can be hard to change depending on the depth of the pain or the time it has been in place. Changing those habits requires to see how detrimental they have been to us or our relationships… Again; the necessity to become more conscious and aware is important! One way to achieve that is to realize what NEED it does serve. All beliefs and behaviors are mental strategies to fulfill needs. And so, becoming aware of our needs behind the beliefs or behaviors can help us to develop healthier ones to meet those needs.
Taking our ego by the hand and reconnecting with our soul 🤝
So, regardless of the step we are at; it’s important that we take our mind/ego by the hand and reassure it of what we are trying to achieve. When we seek to feel better and journey towards wellness, we are not seeking to become someone else, but to reconnect with who we once were before we got hurt. And who we once were is known by our soul. This is why reconnecting with our soul helps to REMEMBER who we truly are and find the strengths and resources to overcome our pain, and find wellness… Which is and should be our inherent state of being! emotional healing
I hope this was helpful to you… and if so, I invite you to share it.
Thank you for your time!
Namaste!
