One of the biggest obstacles in our inner journey and our healing process is the difficulty to self-sooth. It is also called self-regulating, or what I call self-empathy! How this skill develops, and why is it problematic when we lack it?

The Fear of Being Alone and the Need for Support! Abandonment touches on the most fundamental of needs; SECURITY! This need is nurtured through the attachment bond. Therefore, the wound of abandonment comes from an intense feeling of helplessness caused by the physical or emotional absence of mom or dad It may be real or simply felt.

The Fear of Rejection and the Need for Belonging! Rejection touches on a basic need; to be loved for who we are and what we have to offer. In that sense, it is responsible for the greatest emotional challenge any human being can face; to love and accept himself unconditionally!

The Fear of Shame and the Need for Self-Worth! Humiliation develops in the child who internalizes an exterior shame-inducing judgment directed at him, often times coming from mom or dad... Experiencing a strong sense of shame or guilt... Especially in regards to situations that affect the physique, the appearance, sexuality, or cleanliness.

The Fear of loss and the Need to Trust! Betrayal is felt through a fear of loss, giving away too much, or losing an exclusive relationship; often times with the opposite sex parent. This provokes a loss of trust and a greater gap between expectancies and reality... Breeding a marked proclivity for control.